eulogy for daddy

june 15, 2007

st. jude parish

this day marks the beginning of a new life..

this very day is a start of things that are yet to come.

this is the birth of yet another journey for mr. jaime i. sullano. jr.

daddy, dongdong ,jimmy, sir jim or jaime perhaps.

we have been blessed by a person who never ceased to hope and to believe.

who looked beyond the horizons, who hopes for all good things for his family and friends

and who never forgets to welcome you with a big smile, a warm hug and a good joke.

it is true that kids are never given the chance to choose their parents, but i am very much grateful

that the Lord God has brought us to someone whom i know not perfect but someone who is just as perfect and just as right for us

someone who never fails to give us a pat in the back, little words of encouragement, support in the things we do,

someone who lifts our spirits up whenever we feel down, who works extra hard just so we could have the things we need and the things we want.,

someone who gives pride in his children and someone who boasts them to his friends.

upon asked of the wonderful memories that i have shared with daddy, a million memories flashed through my mind..

a million of them but each one has touched my heart and each one will always be remembered..

who would ever forget the piggyback rides he gives me from the room to the c.r every morning

way back my younger years just so i would take a bath and go to school..

i'd always love those and to get it the next day, i'd pretend i don't want to go to school just so that i could have

my piggyback ride..

i would never forget the feeling of anticipation upon knowing that daddy will be arriving home from work out of town..

i would patiently wait by the window or if not, at the sound of the opening of the gate, i would immediately go out from my room to greet him..

who would ever forget the family dinners we have everytime he's home.,very seldom but very much memorable each time

or perhaps just the simple walk in and out of the subdivision talking about

anything and everything under the sun..

i would never forget the way he says to me how lovely and how beautiful i am and even if i'm at my lowest of times, it never ever fails to put a smile on my face..

i guess it's just how daddies are with their little girls.. indeed, it makes me giddy..

i would always remember the smile on his face whenever he cracks jokes, and this he usually does..

and the time he sang to me a song in the grocery store he said he would sing if ever i had a debut celebration..

it goes with a line "is this the little girl i once carried?"

and at the sound of that, i was trying so hard to hide the tears that are falling down my eyes..

i know they are just small things but each small thing shared with him is very much worthwhile..

true enough, they are just small things that usually go unnoticed but in reality, they're the ones that keep us going..

he loved us so much and indeed did a very great job in uniting our family.. that even with all the trials and challenges we have faced,

still, we endured all of those.. we made it through all the rigors of life.. he raised his three children, along with my mom

with pride and dignity.. he believed in the power of God and he never ever surrendered..

i salute him for his loyalty to mama.. through thick and thin, they remained strong.. and i know that whatever happens, his love for her

is beyond compare.. i would always remember the way my dad sings and dedicates a song for mama during videoke time..

they look like young couples again with occasional glances here and there and he never fails to do that whenever he gets hold of a microphone..

i have seen him become a MAN for my two older brothers, kuya michael and kuya kenneth, how he became a role model for them and one way or another,

how he taught them to be strong and on how to be a real MAN.. 

true, there were misunderstandings but i know, those are just signs of his love and concern for all of us..

an obedient child to his parents and a loving brother to his siblings who never fails to check them..

a jolly good fellow he is to his family, relatives and friends.. in other words, he, daddy, is the life of the party..

reunions will always be a blast with him as an emcee..

very popular from all kinds of ages.. from adults, singles, teenagers and even young kids..

he really has his own way of dealing with the people he crosses path with..

indeed a very good soul who values each and every person he meets along the way..

i know our family is not very much fond of showing what we feel, of saying i love you's and i miss you's,

in fact, i have only said i love you personally to my dad once.. it was a very wonderful feeling

but perhaps it is one of my regrets not saying it as often as i should be..

but that doesn't mean that i don't love him..

if you could only open my heart right now, you will see how my heart wants to shout to the whole world how much i value and how much i love my daddy..

i want to show to you all how good my daddy is and that everything i'll do, i'll dedicate it to him..

and i know that our family, mama, kuya michael, and kuya kenneth wants to to do the same..

thank you for each and everyone present here joining with us in this celebration..

i know daddy has one way or another touched your hearts and i know that you hold in a space in your hearts whatever memory you shared and

whatever remembrance he has left you..

i know he is happy watching all of us gathered here and i know that wherever he may be right now, he holds a smile on his face knowing

that many people care and knowing that he has touched many lives..

as for all of us present here and for daddy..

the journey continues..

this voyage, our voyage goes on..

as for me, whatever happens, i am and will always be my daddy's little girl

and i would patiently wait for the day that he'd sing me that song again..

when you try to run away from something, it comes straight back at you.. bull's eye.. when you try so hard to escape from the cruel world you are living in, that world comes face to face with you.. when you try to hide from all the battles that haunt you, you know it's shadow will never leave you.. how ironic isn't it?! the world has given us endless opportunities, opportunities to grow, to be with the people we care about, to laugh, to explore, to have fun, to live and to love.. but the world isn't just like that. amidst those happiness, there is still sadness, fear, hatred, anger, despair, regrets, the feeling of solitude and the very painful feeling of being unloved. the battle begins here. the battle that each one of us has to take, to be ready for and to fight with. no matter how we try to live a normal and peaceful life, the world will never stop throwing stones at us, causing us to be hurt, to be shaken and to fall on the ground. and the very moment you hit on the ground, you come to pause for a moment, to think and to ask why.. but defeat never starts there.. it is only the beginning of fighting that battle. but, sometimes, because the world wouldn't stop on giving us problems, we try to escape from all of those, we try to pretend that we don't have them, that we are very happy with our lives and that we don't feel the slightest bit of hurt and pain, of sadness and loneliness.. we try to engage in merriment, drinking, knowing that intoxication brings you in a state of bliss, when one feels that he or she can control the world, when one is in a state of not having time to worry nor to be afraid.. dancing the whole night long, with people around you, having fun, laughing, with loud music that won't give you the time to think and a beat that revolves around your head bringing you in a place of complete surrender.. and then it ends there!!! the moment you leave the place, reach your home and open the door to your room, there is nothing left. no people to dance and drink with, there is no music, the beat is gone, voices unheard, the sounds of laughter ceased and all that is left is YOU.. you stop. you stare at an empty space, you come back to your senses, you begin to think and to ask why.. and then you begin to learn and to understand.. understand why we can never really have everything we want.. understand why we are alone, in many years of solitude and loneliness without someone to have and hold.. understand why our parents cannot give us everything we wish for and even though we ask for it over and over again, they can never give it to us.. understand the trauma that your brother has given you and even if how much you shove it out of your thoughts, it still tries to squeeze its way in your mind.. you begin to understand that despite doing all the things for someone, you can never be the person that he or she will love.. understand that even if you try your very best, he or she will never love you for who you are and that you will never be enough for him or her.. understand why the world has been so selfish on you, and why others have so much and you having none.. understand why change is inevitable, that we are now growing up and that things will be more complicated than before.. understand that no matter how we question and think, we can never find the answers we've long been searching for.. understand why God hasn't responded to your call and that maybe He has other plans for us.. and we begin to understand that life is never easy, that everyday we are faced with a battle, a battle that only us can conquer, a battle that must be faced with honor and dignity, not with escape nor running away.. and when it finally sinks in to the very core of our hearts, you get a look at the very thing that will give you a sense of comfort, you get a grip of that dirty pillow you've been hugging ever since when, and in complete surrender, little by little, tears start to well in your eyes and then....

...you begin to CRY...

~anna_27~

" as i look back and reminisce,

i see bittersweet memories with him..

yes, everything's over and that i have accepted..

we're friends and that is what we'll ever be..

but i can't help but think that no one has still replaced him in my heart...

i am not saying that i still cry for him at night, that i still long for what used to be..

it's just that a fact remains, he's still in my heart and he still somehow owns a piece of me..."

~anna~